They mean the exact opposite of what you think. To me, to be proud of someone, you do not have to be above them in any way although that is usually the case ie older or more experienced (or snobbish if that is how you are) To me, you do have to have some connection with the person you are proud of. For doing what Im supposed to do? It's a way of congratulating someone for having accomplished something impressive. 25. So happy for us! 2. In this blog, well take a look at Im proud of you and how to respond to it in a meaningful way. 2. True - the parent might have spent hours helping the child get their homework done or even completing the childs assignment. Well done!. I really dont see that she had a direct influence in what I chose to do. Thats the response I was expecting from you. They may start to see their parent as being insincere, or even manipulative. Try these new and funny excuses to ask for money from your parents or your family. What is BBC Future? I may never know but you can simply ask him if you question the genuineness in his response. Imagine this: Four-year-old John shows his Mum a painting he's just done. I had an experience where a friend, who I consider in every way my equal, noticed that I made a healthy food choice (not that I didnt before, but I think its the first time he noticed) and he said, Oh Im so proud of you!. Then there's emotional attraction. So - does this research negate my concerns regarding the phrase "I'm proud of you"? From that day on, I felt like I couldnt really trust him, and now I know why. JavaScript is disabled. Thanks! I live about 200 miles from the old college & she lives in the same town as the college is located. Compare: "Oh bear!" If Your Partner Ever Says These 20 Things, You Should Break Up. Take the compliment, give her a big hug and a kiss and tell her "I'm proud of myself as well" and "Thank you". Well, that means they're impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. What does it mean when someone tells you that they are proud of you? Briefly, some difficulties include: Four-year-old John shows his Mum a painting he's just done. . If a parent can say, 'I'm proud of you', then can the parent also say the opposite - ' I'm disappointed in you '? the person who says that is actually talking about themselves, not about me, and by saying that is drawing the recognition away from me towards themselves. Luke 18:9-14 ESV / 5 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful Ive been totally using that word all wrong sheesh, all the complaints about the misuse of the word makes me feel bad about what and how I been addressing my peers and friends. Later, I saw her in a restaurant and apologized for balling her out in public. ), belonging to my close friend, on her business page. 26. implying a mentor relationship. 16. And, you are the best thing ever to happen to me. "Nothing is ever wrong. With teens and adults, saying "I'm proud of you" is a bit different. She said yes and then she said she wanted to go with me. The Proud Boys ' anger toward Mr. Trump has heightened after he did nothing to help those in the group who face legal action for the Capitol violence. If that's the case, I suggest a change of phrase. 10. He may understand you have daddy issues and need a masculine pat on the back. All rights reserved. The most important thing is to show your appreciation and gratitude for their words. The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all others, charity. The administrator takes no responsibility for any action or outcome a reader may make as a result of reading a post. Updated 7th September 2016; and 19th April 2019. Future Planet. Hosted by Pressable. As if Im mentally retarded and reading a book for the first time in my life, and hoping to get a cookie and a star sticker. Let them know you think it's great they're considering quitting and that you're ready to help. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before stumbling. 13. Keep believing in me, I will make you proud more and more. Later in life, after having been to university, but not knowing what I really wanted to major in and which degree I wanted to get (prepped for teaching career, but not convinced it was the right career for me), I stopped my studies and took a good union job, which at least paid some bills and gave me teh good feelign of earning money. First, he is probably higher status / higher power. This post was actually very helpful for me! Make sure to take the time to think about how you want to respond. If these 10 phrases come up often, they're signs he doesn't want a relationship with you, and you should move on with someone who can be the person you deserve. When someone says they are busy, it could mean that they are busy. Paul urged his young companion Timothy to be "a worker who does not need to be ashamed" (2 Timothy 2:15). Its really a way of saying I am really the one who is special, Im the boss.and what it deserves is not thank you but rather, well kiss my ass you condescending bastard..get a lifethis proud of you nonsense is also related to people who have to say WELL GOOD FOR YOU when doing something mundane..like, someone catches me reading a book in publicoh, you are readingWELL, GOOD FOR YOU!! Proverbs 18:12 Before destruction the heart of man is haughty, but humility goes before honor. Proud Boys celebrate President Trump's callout to them during debate. On the other hand, my brother has said it to me, and although he did not play a role in my achievement, it still meant something positive to me and it felt good. A parent might say this to a child, perhaps. The Proud Boys . Praise such as this is a subject on its own much research and many, many books have been written on the negative aspects of praise. Youre my friend, not my parents! My experiences with people saying they were proud of me (or at least making me aware in other ways that they were proud of me) first came from my own parents, mostly my dad. How many people in your life can say, "I'm proud of you," and you take it fully and without any sort of resentment or dismissal? Whatever you did today was the way it was meant to be. Connect, Converse and Communicate Better. Ben Casnocha It is a darn good thing that you wrote your opinion; that I found it tonight, and that comments continue to be accepted. The Next Giant Leap. I am trying very, very hard not to implode. 5. If this is the case, then of whom is the parent really proud? Do you really think this had a lot of positive impact on many children? Thanks. 10. Why is this such a contentious phrase? I was an ambitious student with a goal to attend university, which my father completely supported. If someone calls you out for saying something offensive, remember that your intent can be different than your impact. I googled a sentence on this topic to see if anyone had written on it (hoping they had). 1. If its a long-term relationship, the mentor will genuinely care. But it had a very positive impact on this one child. 14. I wouldn't trade your friendship for anything in the world. This will show your appreciation for their support and will help to strengthen your relationship. Gun owners are more likely than non-gun owners to know someone who has been shot (51% vs. 40% of non-owners). The phrase "Im proud of you" insinuates that the speaker (parent, teacher, co-worker, boss) has more experience, or power, or in some manner has the right to pronounce their opinion, on someone elses effort. I'm so much proud of you for completing your graduation and wish you will succeed in every . I knew it, if no one was going to like this. Looking for some extra money from your parents? The best way to do this is to express your own feelings of appreciation and gratitude for their words. Again, these phrases are my evaluation of my childs effort. Show your appreciation for their words and use your response to create a positive and constructive environment. Pause, take a deep breath, and remember who you really are. Proud" as praise - an external judgement of someone elses achievements. 03:48. Otherwise I feel like Im horning in on someone elses territory their right to be proud of their own accomplishments. Love you so much. Id have fallen over from shock if I ever heard it from anyone in my family (& still would!). Sajeev Rajan I know Im a couple of years behind, but was thinking about it this morning. If there is a mentor relationship, fine, but when the relationship is supposed to be about equals, Likewise, these are special, cute, and funny replies when someone says I am proud of you and you dont know what to respond next. Reading the Parent Effectiveness Training book, or attending a PET course, will help develop positive and respectful parent-child relationships, and explore alternatives to praise. So tell them it feels like you are bothering them. My friends tell me that rather often so like once every month or so, which I think is a lot, if you say it more often you'll take it for granted for sure. Lets see where we can go with this. But, the real credit goes to you and you only! Ive been lurching between How can you be proud of someone elses children? but then challenging that with But then as we do both have a close relationship with her we probably have had some influence on how shes turning out . PJ. 15. About 5 years ago, an ex college girlfriend and I began emailing each other occasionally (not often just once every 2-3 months or so). 4. I'm so proud of you" I say things like "I love seeing you so happy with your work" and "I love seeing your words in print". The same trope appears in many childrens movies (Babe, Mulan)is there anything more important to a child than their parents love and approval? If you had a hand in that success then I think it is ok to say, I am so proud of you as it does imply that the speaker played a part. I am certain that he would be very proud of you, and he would be proud of your decision to reset your life with rehab. Maybe instead of telling me hes proud of me, like its such a surprise, maybe he should have just offered to do the dishes. First, he is probably higher status / higher power. It is an accomplishment that makes good memories in life. May these Proud Quotes On Success inspire you to take action so that you may live your dreams. I wouldnt say Im proud of you in this situation. Express your own feelings of appreciation and gratitude. Private face-to-face sessions and course not available at this point. Since first publishing this piece, I've spent many years thinking about, and discussing, why children might like to hear their parents say "I'm proud of you". These two simple words"I care"can mean so much to a person who may be feeling like the entire world is against them. Approval is different to acceptance. by Carolyn Steber. Listen to your inner wisdom, and make a note of the meaning that resonates with you. Of course, the child may feel really pleased to hear this positive evaluation of their efforts. If a friend said it to me, I might say "Thank you", but I'd be thinking "Well, who gave you authority over me, then?". I know you and I haven't been seeing eye-to-eye lately. 3. Is it OK to respond to "I am proud of you" with "Me to", "So do I", and "I am too", and "I am proud of you too"? He may not have expected you to be qualified for the job. I agree with you: its sad that he did what my parents should have done. Thank you for starting this. When someone knows that you are not only proud, but you are inspired and amazed, it will be an even better compliment. If you want to reply saying you're proud of the person saying he's proud of you, the only correct answer out of those four is "I'm proud of you too". Second, he must know you well. They seem to make him quite happy. I think the phrase Im proud of you is insulting, for the reasons noted above. I dislike the phrase entirely, regardless of how we are involved in the individuals life: parent, teacher, mentor, etc. Consequently I now cringe every time I hear the term being used out of context . You are using an out of date browser. The rest were manual labourers. This canstop the development of their own, "You look really pleased with your effort". I would almost join FB in order to make the comment, Why are you proud and impressed? But, why does the response "me too" sound natural in response to "I am glad to meet you". But I would also add another category: people who know you well *because* they have worked with you and even for you for a long time. In these instances, simply saying "Wow" (and meaning it) will let them know you're proud. Health Gap. Im glad I found this interesting discussion, as I just had a man I am seeing state I am proud of you and it made me feel great, yet at the same time realized that it can come from a position of higher power so I needed to contemplate the relationship. You can accomplish anything that you put your mind to. She is an accredited and highly experienced P.E.T. I am here for the same reason. I still think she was doing this at the time. As in, he's purely attracted to your appearance. . 5. I have never said to my children, I am proud of you. My reason is that thry are responsile for their successes and I shoudnt take any credit for it. Positive reinforcement is a powerful tool that can help to encourage and motivate people. Lost Index. I am in awe of your talent and accomplishments. The important piece is if they are genuine in their caring (and have been consistent, contrary to the parent that was never there but then feels pride). Here subject and object are the same person. And Ill encourage them to be proud. I drove home and when I got home I texted her that I had arrived home safely. Graduates: TBA, Grandparents: PET for Grandparents. You are happy they are an ambassador for you. When your partner is mad at you, your flirty responses to I hate you will certainly make them laugh. On Wednesday, a Proud Boy leader, Joseph . 1. You have overcome something you may not had confidence in yourself to succeed. Thanks. Ive told you that, youre going to feel proud of me. Wondering where that may be coming from. (Of course, there are always people who try to suck up to youbut hopefully you can see through it!) 15. They often tell each other they are proud of one anothers achievements and they all know its genuine. I dont think there is a neutral position. I think we need to invent another word for that wonderful feeling in our own chest when someone we care for does something they feel proud about and we agree that they should feel proud. I was irritated by that remark. Ive been waiting for a long time to give you this surprise! But this seems less common. It's important to remember that the power of words goes both ways. Because this was someone elses idea. . I can see a peer, a spouse, or even a child saying that to someone who got a new deserved promotion, for instance. Here are 5 other ways to say "I'm proud of you" to older children: 06 "It's been an honor to watch you grow up." This can be used for both a teen and an adult. I think the internet and social media have eaten her brain that she would not only allow their @#[emailprotected] clueless comment to remain public, but that she thanked them? "You make me so mad.". Initially this sit didnt sit well with me. ". but you do play a role in their success! I teach high school. Now, of course, its diminished if the person throws the phrase around too casually to colleagues, all family members, etc., but if they are a genuine and caring person, then I believe it shows a deeper connection. 7. When somebody says that you are wrong: "You are entitled to your incorrect opinion." To each his own. If youre proud of me, buy me a pizza, then. However Simon Cowell for instance often says he is proud of a contestant he has never met before. Saying, Im proud of you, is a great word and its an expression from the heart. Focus on this thing or person for a few minutes to get yourself into a more positive mindset. Is your partner proud because they can now be associated with a high achiever? 2. But you'd like some clarity on what he really means when he says that. You will even fall in love with me again seeing the next surprise! 1. 2. But, seeing youre proud of me, Im fine. After reading these posts, I think the following: a person will feel pride in anothers accomplishment when they feel deeply connected with the other. Thank you. I again said. So, the next time someone says Im proud of you, remember to take the time to think about how you want to respond. The other three sound as if you're saying you're proud of yourself too. Whatever I did, I just did it for our friendship, Bro. Im proud of myself, too. . I think its about the underlying meaning of these words to a child. It says, I love you so much that YOUR accomplishment can make ME feel pride. Its my feeling that I should only express pride in something Ive accomplished. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre also taking advantage of the power of positive reinforcement. Self-doubt can make it hard to accept compliments and to express gratitude for the words of others. Facebook: Please join us on our Facebook page for a mix of articles on children and parenting. Just let them be. Here are other litmus tests I've blogged about. 1. Instead of acting out of rage over . But one doesn't want to say that they're not proud of their country if they're looking to lead it. Your partner is really happy about the achievement that you have made in your life or career. When you say, "I'm proud of you," you may actually be simply rejoicing in another. When someone says "I'm proud of you", they are expressing their admiration and respect for you - and that can be a powerful thing. This will help to create a bond between the two of you and will strengthen your relationship. By accepting the compliment and reflecting on your qualities, you may feel more satisfied in life. In the South, people are proud of you if they know you. Set realistic goals. Even if the other person's words and/or actions seem reprehensible, try to be as . (thanks to TK and Andy for helping think this through.). I dont think that without your support I can make it. Usually friends say "I'm so happy for you" or "Really nice job!" Mull over various relaxing options, like meeting up for coffee or tea, and then send along one concrete plan, Manly says. He remembers things that you tell him. Rather, relationship skills where we communicate respectfully by listening, by positive I-Messages, by problem solving with our child, will help ensure our children feel connected and valued, and provide our children with a sense of emotional safety. Its a way of saying I see the hard work youve put in and I appreciate it. Basically, its an ambiguous expression. Next course: We hope to run a face to face course beginning in early May, 2023. As a friend I want you to know that I am so proud of you. And do you really mean that you are damned impressed with your friend for her achievement? Yes, I'm sure you've come across "me too" in such situations, but it's very often ambiguous, or sounds arrogant. He gets a "that's nice". "I'm proud of you" is often associated with mentor-mentee relationships, something that a teacher or parent might say. Go To Homepage. I think I instinctively recognized that the balance of power had somehow been upset, but couldnt put my finger on it. Be proud of who you are. Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means theyre happy to see, 43 Motivational Messages For Hard Working Boyfriend, funny excuses to ask for money from your parents, How to tell your parents that you have a girlfriend, 9 Best Answers To How Was Your Interview?, 16 Clever Comebacks When Someone Tells You To Grow Up, 18 Best Responses To Backhanded Compliments On Social Media. Well, in that case, you should be proud of yourself, too. She and I are both married. Might as well as them to stop saying yall or bless her heart.. And, that nearest person could be your parents, partner, or friends. Before you bring your GF home, know- How to tell your parents that you have a girlfriend, now. 6. Like I wasnt doing enough before? When someone says Im proud of you, they are expressing their admiration, respect, and gratitude for something you have done. You must be so proud of how you're doing!"). 2. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies. You had nothing whatsoever to do with any of this you pond-bottom suckers.. 9. That way, all they have to do is show up. Ah. Simply thanking them or hugging them is an immediate reaction to it. It felt great, and as he falls into both of the categories above, was fully appreciated. William, however, was too proud and too obstinate to lend himself to such a course. "If by a "Liberal" they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people-their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights and their civil liberties-someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is . It can be difficult to respond to Im proud of you if youre struggling with self-doubt. . John decides to replicate his painting (for the reward of praise, not for his own sense of improvement and competence), and looks up at his mother with rapturous expectation. Want to Change the Way you React to Your Children? Here are some tips on how to respond to Im proud of you: Following these tips will help to ensure that you are responding to Im proud of you in a meaningful way. I didnt expect that this would mean so much for us. The truth here is, different people say and hear different things in the expression Im proud of you.. 8. It makes us feel seen, understood, and appreciated. It reaffirms the choice you made is good and right, nothing more.