It didn't feel real. I felt a mixture of excitement and flattery and nerves. And if you're not confessing - to the victim - you're dodging doing time. When my husband came home, he could tell right away that I had been drinking. I remember saying 'no, no, this is bad' in the middle of it, and he said 'I know but I really like you and I have done for ages', and he kissed me again, but this time only for a second because I said ' I really can't do this, I have no excuse, I'm married and he's lovely, it's not like I'm unhappy, he's a good person' then he kinda just stroked my arm and said 'I know, your right, it's just I'm really attracted to you and couldn't not act on it, I'm sorry, you're right'. Maybe you didnt deliberately set out to kiss him or her, but you feel guilty about the kiss because you realize you always wanted to kiss that person, but were afraid to kiss because you harbored hidden feelings for that person. This feels huge to me. Again - your choice. If you kissed a stranger, your significant other might just react by laughing or by telling you its okay. I made it explicit to my girlfriend that I can only function in an extremely honest and all-cards-on-the-table relationship. If I were the husband and some how found out through a second party my trust would be broken. I was very drunk. But fine, then 'It's not what you do, it's the way that you do it': give him the truth *cleverly*. This was a relationship BTW not a marriage. But not good enough and you not happy enough to exclude fore-foreplay (open-mouthed kissing) with someone (*ugh) other than him as per the for-life contract? Then the accusations begin, which night go something like: Why on earth did you kiss _________? I'm disgusted with myself to think I would do that after just the tiniest bit of attention and flattery. When you're in a long-term relationship, it's normal to have a little crush on someone other than your partner. Just, why leave yourself open if you don't have to. I recall an incident years ago, we were very young, just teenagers, and a girl planted a big kiss on my hubby (then boyfriend) on a night out. Things have gone a fair way beyond ideal but you aren't a silly school girl after your first taste of wine. But I can't leave my job. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, Psychology and the Mystery of the "Poisoned" Schoolgirls. v5.00a - 0.32607s [RUM] 2023-03-03 02:57:10. View related questions: The Bedford man accused of killing another after an argument April 24, 2021, pleaded guilty Friday to third-degree murder, his attorney Dan Kiss said. Kissed another man four years ago and NOW feeling guilty. I believe, on the other hand, that if you got drunk and kissed someone because you were drunk and you had no feelings for the other person, there is no point in confessing about that kiss because a confession could cause trouble over nothing. I kissed my husbands best friend while we were drunk, well no, he kissed me My boyfriend was drunk and let his friend sleep between us. Need help with your relationship? Like stateside, maybe southern California or San Diego? Iam a bisexual man and kissing a female is a different feeling then with a male. We may share information about your use of our site with trusted advertising and analytics partners. Hi SoulMate! "Sadly, many people who have a crush on someone else purposely get drunk ". Please help me. 4. Im guessing that theres a good chance you would have gone all the way if the piano teacher had gone for it. he set the standard of how he wished this relationship to be conducted in such scenarios yet you failed to follow it WHY did you?). The way I see things, there are innocent kisses, which occur when a person had too much to drink, and then there are guilty kisses, which are precipitated by getting drunk. in all the years we are together I have never ever done anything like this before, and I can say with confidence I will never allow myself to end up in any situation that could lead to anything even close to this again. I said to my husband, I have something to tell you, but I dont know how to say it.. I'm dating this guy and have been for about 2 months. Guess what his response was? The 2 Most Psychologically Incisive Films of 2022, The Surprising Role of Empathy in Traumatic Bonding. I made that call today and will move from lates to early starting Monday 16th feb. Don't hurt him any more than you already have. Yup. Houston, this team needs to identify then agree over what's causing it. We started kissing again and he took my T shirt off and I briefly started kissing his body. (although, I'm not sure how this counts as a debate if you and I are in total agreement, lol). It's mos becoming serious and we really like each other! :(. I work in hospitality, so I can't change departments, but I can change my shift pattern. i agree with everyone there's some really good sharing here. If it were my husband, I would be upset too, because that would be so out of character for the man I know. In fact, you dont even have to tell your partner what you did because it was an innocent kiss. We've not made it exclusive yet but we did agree to not see other people at the beginning. female I've been Dating a married Albanian man for 6 months already and NOT proud of it.Just wanna share my, Hurt my ex girlfriend, feel guilty and don't know what to do. It felt so wrong and taboo yet so erotic and a sort of thrilling jealousy! Then he kissed me, and I kissed him back. You're going through tests BY OTHERS to find out why you can't fall pregnant. All night I chatted and joked with a group of maybe 10 people, mostly women. There's nothing wrong with feeling an attraction to another person when you're in a relationship. reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2006): A I have to admire the guy for realizing that he was putting a marriage at risk, and backed away. This of course over a year ago. An affair isn't a bad choice made when a married person decides to sleep with someone that they aren't married to. I myself have had issues in the past months but I won't elaborate. The marriage itself trying to keep his father and the community happy, and just get my husband to consider the rest of the job force he worked in and the many his wants would affect with UAW seniority for a big three auto plant. If you kissed someone while you were drunk then perhaps you are worried about doing it again. Lets get down to the basics here. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. A female friend of mine was staying at our house for the weekend. WORK. Translation: I believe I wish to say, what the hell, what were we doing only I have a competing urge to chose a phrase that could be taken two ways, to ask, where are we at aka what happens with we two now? It's just a "good weekend?" Youre just using the fact that you were drunk as an excuse. Cell phones, texting, emails etc. I feel like I like myself down and my husband down. For me i felt guilty for enjoying it so much. You do risk upset feelings as a consequence. Ill bet you got drunk on purpose because you wanted to kiss him/her.. :-). You knowing you can trust your husband to do the right thing when faced with temptation is all it takes for him to remain blight-free when blight (whether or not wearing fishnets) threatens. Please leave me a comment. I love your stories, Foxie. I was dating thus guy for 6 months and he stopped calling and texting. I don't know why I need that so much, but I do. A certain someone might read it. Any advice guys? If he forgave you, then it sounds like he accepted that it was a mistake, that you won't do it again and has moved on. You can even introduce is as you 'having something to tell him that you're very proud of yourself over and wholly expect will make him proud of you too'..such as: Wow, you really do want a baby, don't you. NO don't actually make it easy for him to have ANY KIND OF RELATIONSHIP with this woman!!!! Your Drinking Behaviour. Dont tell me now that youre in love with him.. Y'know what it all boils down to the lips. 507 views, 8 likes, 5 loves, 10 comments, 6 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Scrittori a domicilio: Mattia Insolia, Cieli in fiamme (Mondadori) con. If the reaction isnt strong, then maybe its okay to confess. I am the nicest person on earth and so is my boyfriend. End of story. If you think that straight guys are too macho to experiment with same-sex kissing, then yourewrong. He's a work colleague by the way, and we would get on well in work but have no contact outside of work). We lived in a small town at the time, and it felt like avoiding this girl was nearly impossible. Lees theory has a big vulnerability. But you sounded like you were willing to take it farther with him,and risk it all. You're the worst! In the end we all do what serves us best But don't shoot the messenger.. Righd AWN, sistah! female An innocent kiss usually involves getting so plastered that you lose your inhibitions and someone tries to kiss you and you return the kiss. For your information, I have only the *one* bottom and and it doesn't ever tend to leave tracks (- speak for yerself!) It is the gateway to another feeling. What would people say if she'd slept with someone else? Sadly, many people who have a crush on someone else purposely get drunk or get the other person drunk in order to find out if they have any chemistry with each other, and they temporarily forget about the fact that they are already in a relationship with another person. Unforeseeable consequence. By clicking 'Submit' or otherwise submitting this form you agree to the, By entering this site you declare I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. NOT mentioning it could make you come across guilty. He was so drunk himself that he started singing I Love Paris and, in the middle of the song, he said in a gruff voice, You wanna kiss me? I dont know what else to do. The first step to a broken loyalty is a first kiss. With or without the same seniority. Except with other truth-seekers. I wanted to go further with him, but I didnt nor did he push for anything more. I'm not telling him because I don't want to mess this up. I did for a second *start* to kiss him backbut only because I was so completely off my head at that point (I'm talking room starting to spin) as was he, actually, which is probably why it occurred- well, NEARLY occurred in the first place, so don't worry about that bit but the second I did, I came to my senses and told him NO WAY JOSE!!! I love him so much and feel totally ashamed at what happened over the weekend in what was a drunken moment at at a party.I got drunk and kissed another boy. See what she has to say. Turning off notifications, deleting messages, and hiding chat apps may all indicate secrecy. Lead to or gateway to, I guess there's a difference. Does she feel guilty over leaving me for another guy? Your boyfriend may love you so much that he believes you won't repeat the cheating ever again. reader, Ellis Mac+, writes (25 October 2005): A If I some how knew which thread to follow to I'd go. No, if it's sensible debate, based on *facts* rather than wishful thinking, that's fine. The doubt in your mind over his behaviour might actually be a doubt in your mind over yours. Once emotions kicks in, you cant predict what will happen. To submit your vote please sign in or sign up, it is free and takes a few seconds. Don't have an account? "but the fact I work with this person and have to continue to work with him. " I feel sorry for the visually impaired but that doesn't mean I want a blind person flying my airplane and my compassion won't make the flight any safer. She has just sent a private message to him on FB. Hang on because I'm sure there will be other people who believe differently from me. And Ill tell you why by first giving you some context the back. And a stitch in time saves nine. Press J to jump to the feed. The next time you saw your significant other you might have blurted out, I have a confession to make. However, if it doesn't close itself through sustained inactivity soon then I'll probably close it myself (as the actress said to the bishop). reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2007): A Soulmate I guess as long as you stay at this site I'll find all of you. / Houston, turns out I/you/I+You can't have kids the natural way after all, which is no-one's fault; let's try IVF / adopt / foster / console ourselves with the fact we'll always have each other, and the babies of people we know to borrow, and the freedom and greater financial means to please ourselves. By clicking 'Accept and continue' you consent to our use of cookies in accordance with your preferences which can be reviewed / updated at any time via our Privacy Policy. But we have spoken since about it a lot. You might feel guilty about it the next day, but it wasnt a big deal. The guilt may be strong because you doubt yourself right now and were surprised by your actions. Where were you hiding it - up your sleeve? I'd be obsessed with it. You were drunk and you kissed - One of those long young people type kisses too . Now that you got drunk, you feel justified in kissing that person because you got drunk and couldnt help yourself. I was enjoying myself and loving the chats and laughs. Relationships are about trust, first and foremost. Why? One of the best ways is to offer effective apologies. I'm going to regret what I've done for the rest of my life. I had had an argument with my fianc because I found a suspicious text from a woman , he became very mad . There's a difference between sex and kissing. Anyway, I just thought I'd mention it out of respect for that other time with that girl and to show you that, despite I'm not as quick thinking as you, especially when I'm blotto, I can still handle myself in these situations [grin]." If, on the other hand, you kissed someone whom you knew or someone your significant other believes youve always liked, and then you confess that you kissed him or her, your actions could have major consequences for your relationship Why? I know I cheated for sure, and thats why I had to confess to my husband that I did it. (works every time :-p) If you kissed a stranger, your significant other might just react by laughing or by telling you it's okay. Houston, we have a problem. So what do you think? Amazing how long this subject has carried on. We are together 12 years altogether and although I had boyfriends before him, it was never serious, and he is the only man I've ever slept with. he said the situations arent at all the same bc he doesnt feel turned on by me kissing another guy the way i do from a male on male kiss. Not work you put off until 'tomorrow' - TODAY. Now, four years later, I am feeling extreme guilt to the point that it is making me sick and consuming thoughts every minute of the day. "I really can't do this, I have no excuse, I'm married and he's lovely, it's not like I'm unhappy, he's a good person'" I guess what really bothers me a lot is when kids get involved. So if for some reason he'd got funny about it, I'd have just dealt with it. But living a lie would be so much worse. Answer (1 of 7): As you have not mentioned your gender, i am assuming you are a girl. We kissed for maybe 5 minutes, or maybe less, I don't know. And he kissed me and I reciprocated. Try-it-on, cheating sleazebag makes pass at loyally-married woman; Try to channel the guilt into something good, into turning your back on temptation and having a good night out with your friends. Visit my website and follow me on Twitter @GuyWinch. Kissing a man, I've just got into over the past couple years. Im more than competent at the piano myself, but this guy was amazing. I tried to flag down a taxi but it ignored me and I even hid behind a wall at a garage while he took a pee. Even despite it included you having to become whatever degree of a low-down doity adulterer. At least I'll know I've done my bit to the very best of my capability. I kissed another guy when drunk but can't remember?! I then suddenyly realised what I was doing and burst into tears, telling him I could not do this to my boyfriend and then called a taxi and left. "He's a great kisser" what she said to me. I kissed another man four years ago. When you feel guilty for hurting someone you love, holding in those feelings makes it worse. Similarly, meeting with someone privately and not telling your partner can also be a warning sign that . Yes Im addiction there are things called SUDs.. It sounds simple, but if you think you know how to apologize effectively, you are likely wrong. Oh, I'm sure he'd be able to forgive her, LOYAL GIRL. Plus, I *was* moreover affronted, meaning the guy got off lightly, because [1] I hadn't even caught his eye, [2] my wedding band is very thick thus too noticeable even from a distance, meaning his chat-up attempt was both un-instigated and unwanted, so [3] what sort of person did he think I WAS, just from looking at me?! Jam, your wife holds the cards. i asked him how he'd feel if i went and made out with another man in front of him. We have only been seeing each other for the past two months and I dont want his mind racing with bad thoughts. I didnt hear from my piano teacher for at least two weeks after that. Mercy got too drunk, Cintia was drunk but she was ok so far. I calmly told him that I wasnt in love with him, but I did feel some attraction and that I accepted the liquor and the kiss because I was curious to find out if there was anything between us. I wonder how that struggle with trust might affect bonding within a romantic relationship contex- oh, wait - could it, would it, on a train in the rain with a fox in a box, Sam-I-Am, possibly always communicate to your husband a sense that you don't fully enough trust *him*, in which case that must mean you're judging him by YOUR standards ergo he'd better hold back a bit just in case? In that sort of scenario, where the kiss (or any intimate contact) lingers for more than half a second - or, put more simply, isn't the kind you'd feel comfortable giving/receiving from your own parent or grandparent - it's an opening of the door, whether or not you subsequently recover your senses and slam it shut again. Becoz misunderstanding happn somtym and do miracles/ And ya most imp if u both want kids u shud adopt one. He screamed and raged and then left to the lake and sent me a text saying he cannot trust someone who would make an unwise decision like that. Tl;dr: why do I feel guilty after ending things with a guy who grabbed my ass during our first kiss? Apologize to your SO and tell him that you love him and only him. ;-) Just my thoughts having been a victim of cheating. Login first Unfortunately, even these last few asides are tantamount to a forum no-no called thread mutineering. It was such a weird experience. ?We were doing well and I was afraid he would never forgive me. I was drunk but that is no excuse. Oh no worries soulmate, yes we do miss you We'll talk tomorrow. This should be obvious, but sadly, for many it's not. Would they be as lenient? One day, he came over with a bottle of whisky and he had already been drinking. I dont want him to be thinking that I am a cheat. SO if you shouldn't, then A) you should be able to tell him, and B) if he's the type to hit the roof over a kiss, he's a wee bit paranoid for his own good, and it wouldn't be *your* fault. Finding it with someone else just accelerates the process. I wouldn't want him around the person. Spoiler alert: Not that different from kissing a girl, only they dont fancy them. When I needed a dresser picked up from a furniture store, he offered to take me to the store and bring the furniture home in his pick up truck. Free weekly email, Insta, and more - > https://linktr.ee/monogamish_me. Because guilt typically occurs in "micro-bursts" of brief signals, we often underestimate the rather significant role it plays in our daily lives. Sincere apology if my assumption is wrong. You werent totally bombed out of your mind, so you realized what you did and you felt guilty about it. I went out for drinks in town last night and got extremely drunk and kissed another man, it only lasted not even a few seconds but I feel so so so guilty and wish I could take it back. Of course there would have to be a lot of transparency in the marriage there after. Ive told her Im sorry, I wont let it happen again and Im sorry for being dishonest. I myself will have to comment tomorrow, now, although maybe SK and anyone else would like to join in in the meantime? Genie, I think being honest is always the best because. I didnt want to cheat on him and I made up my mind it wouldnt happen again. Im a guy and i had sex with my guy bestfriend drunk. What should I do. Buster was in law school Buster Murdaugh, left, and his girlfriend Brooklynn White watch a video clip from Buster's brother Paul's phone in the double murder trial of Alex Murdaugh at the Colleton . Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended! So she left after a couple of replies. And what Simone Bienne said on the love line. I waited for the right time ?? Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! It meant absolutely nothing what so ever but to me, I still class kissing someone else, no matter how long or short time, drunk or not, as cheating! Thankfully, he immediately and apologetically backed right off (which was when we woke this other woman and they both left), and, luckily, put his apologetic money where his mouth was by phoning me the very next day to say how stupid and guilt-wracked he felt, assuring me it would NEVER happen again so could I please forgive him and just forget it ever happened. stop any contact (outside of work) immediately. So it looks as if we're suddenly at crossed-purposes, then. This one by far has lasted the longest. Things do get out of our hand at times, now think. When you go out and get drunk- if you find yourself attracted to another man- think back to how you feel now after you acted on that attraction. Kissed someone on vakation while drunk, cheating or not? What if your husband ever found out? Sentiment accepted, though. If a man or woman were genuine in asking for forgiveness. I hadn't been out drinking for about 3 months beforehand, so think the excitement of the night, constant glasses prosecco and wine, and the buzz of just being all dolled up all mixed together to see me very giddy and tipsy. It's good that you're willing to forgive,most women would divorce. The other day, I had a first with my partner Flo: I put my tongue in another man's mouth while he stood by only to observe. I'm going to be the best wife I can be going forward. Or run away? My libido is sharper when Im sober, at least if Im really attracted to a guy and have the love goggles on. I was nervous and prayed nothing would happen but it did. Food for thought, Michelle Langley. female Updated January 27, 2023 by ReGain Editorial Team. For the last two years have read a lot about infidelity. 4 days ago. In essence . It's not the crime that counts, it's the time. (No, I'm very passionate about fidelity.) I think a real man actually kisses a dude at least once to really know your sexuality, one says. SOULMATE: I accept the ASSuming Award. Everyone makes mistakes and it's how you deal with them afterwards that is the most important thing. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here), but then I was cheated on for years by ExH and I would now put myself first. That's a lot to take in. I didnt tell him. reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2006): A Then he kissed me, and I kissed him back. If it were me, I would contact her, & let her know that I didn't appreciate her actions. I think your just another female using your man until a better option comes along your husband should dump you because one of these days your going dump him if he doesnt. What isn't, is I know it was wrong and I regret it all. drunk, kissing. But I don't see the need to borrow trouble by telling your boyfriend if you have learned your lesson and know you will never do something like that again. He also sent me a mean text that said for me to go f myself and to stay away from him. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Scopes: okay, although the whole point of forums is [1] that they're anonymous and [2] people's problems aren't ever remotely unique enough for the poster not to potentially be literally from anywhere in the world thus unidentifiable. reader, missbunbury+, writes (25 October 2005): A He said I was a person and offered to ride me home. Live with the soul crushing guilt you earned, or lose your BF. That left just me, the man and another woman. The Fora platform includes forum software by XenForo. He cared less what families they belonged to if they worked in the same positions, they had the same contract rules to follow. What are you going to do, then? I'm not married nor have I ever been married. Being married is something that can be quite complicated at times. I agree. If you. I know it was wrong and I regret it all. I knew this was wrong but my brain wasn't working properly. Now is that thread on this site (people's problems)? But we can get through it together if you are truley remoreseful. Once was after we'd had a bit of a heavy talk earlier, and the other two were after we dropped one of the little ones off at the grandparents and he started talking about if it gets easier to leave a child (ie when you have weekend contact and you have to drop the child back off at the end of it.). As far as crossed purposes,hmmmmmmmm not following you. Please tell me I will stop feeling like this. Funny, I have never gotten amorous when I have had too much to drink. One way to alleviate guilt is by taking action. You already have internalized that part. It's not that big of a deal anyway and you aren't going to do it again. Allow me show you for future ref what someone who hates feeling guilty looks like: I cant trust you anymore., You think that having too much to drink made it all right for you to kiss ______? The way it happened-not so good! Hence - two aims for the price of one act: psychological fertility treatment + attention and affection. We finally mended fences, but there still is a type of tension between us. You were no exception. If the reaction is strong, then maybe dont say anything. If he's like meI can forgive the actbut not the lying. Do you want to end you marriage? Hubby had a similar experience when we were in our first year - with his ex. I want to break down and cry. I am not someone that cheats on people, I am just a nice lad who gets carried away in the moment when drunk. ;-)) I put a blanket over her and sat back down next to the man. What if they were married? Well, that's all fairly laudible but Yes, that's what I was going to advise - that you two continue any discussion on LG's own thread. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. I agree with Vale that the best thing you can do is talk to Cintia about what happened and tell her that seeing her kissing Mercy upset you. And he grabbed my waist!. You went and MARRIED someone who was your best FRIEND, not your Bam!, Pow!, "oh my god there is a god!" My husband went ballistic and said, I just knew something like this was going to happen. I was drunk on Friday night and I kissed another guy. Now then,you and hubby should do some summer travel. Then you must be doing it wrong. My eyes were closed and my head was spinning. I'm not sure how long we were there when one of the women decided to call it a night, and left in a taxi. I have posted a vent and been waiting for your scathing reply. Here are the frightening ways to know that he gave another girl a kiss ; 1.