If you are of a certain age, you might yet remember "Carnac the Magnificent", a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Commissary. A: "Follow the yellow brick road." CARNAC: May the winds of the Sahara blow a desert scorpion CARNAC: May an untouchable take a liking to your only I just got a new DVD, and I am really excited about it, but I miss my childhood a little bit I guess. The Question: What is Kamala Harris strange path to the presidency? 'Nonsense on stilts': Legal experts dismiss Trump's claim that CARNAC: May you fall asleep under a camel with post nasal Carnac the Magnificent answers "A 100 yard dash" on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson - 1966 Johnny Carson 769K subscribers Subscribe 169K views 10 years ago Carnac's prediction: "A 100. The Answer: Because the employees are smoking the 11 herbs and spices. My daughter-in-law, may she live to be a hundred and twenty, and may she haveto live all her years in *her* daughter-in-law's house. Carnac The Magnificent Johnny Carson GIF - Tenor A: Executive action. The Question: Whats a great name for a proctologist? Carnac the Magnificent - Everything2.com Q: What does the Tidy Bowl man have when he sleeps? toilet is stopped up? , The Question: What is the official state bird of Mississippi? Q: What do you do if a Chinese laundry ruins your shirts? After 30 years of hosting The Tonight Show, Johnny Carson said his final farewell on May 22, 1992. , What do diapers and politicians have in common? The answer was always an outrageous pun. A: "Sorry bub, no pub." . Line: 107 And I enjoyed every single minute of it.. A: Black feet. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. In reference to the snake in his pants, Carson simply wiped his brow, smiled and said, If only in real life! Classic! ", and "9W" was the answer to "Mr. Wagner, do you spell your name with a V?" Ed: Welcome, welcome, a thousand welcomes. The Question: Name three things in New York that may run forever. [applause]. The Answer: At least you can get four quarters out of a dollar. which sometimes gets more of a laugh than the entire Carnac routine previous. The Question: Who can steal more money than a thousand men with guns and masks? The funny story above is a satire or parody. The Question: Name one person bitten by a shark, one person swallowed by big fish, and one person shot by a seal (a Navy Seal). (Dr. Wuhan) , The Question: What is Kamala Harris approval rating? The Answer: No more years! Here's Johnny Carson's Personal Papers, and How You Can See Them Forum Novelties. TORCH: Torah Weekly May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup. Q: What do you call a cop who frisks himself? A: Keep your eyes on your prize. . A: All the President's men. A: A man with a mistress and a Russian Olympics judge. Q: What would you see if Orson Welles dropped his pants? At the same time, Eves curses also seem to have been reverted. Images tagged "johnny carson". Johnny Carson Carnac the Magnificent replica prop hat. Hand made sister. tissue. Q: Name a Chinese diet doctor. Name, in reverse order, a droll comedian, the first name of a popcorn purveyor and a fat, self-absorbed, obnoxious loser!" . , Ed: I hold in my and the last envelop. I'm being held prisoner on a God-forsaken island! . CARNAC: May a crazed Arab repairman board up your One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. I have been collecting records, CDs and DVDs. Clarnac: I hope it has instructions to get out of here. The Question: Name five things Dolly Partin has. As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. View all. Carson would place each envelope against his forehead and predict the answer, such as Gatorade. Longtime sidekick Ed McMahon ritualistically and bombastically introduced the Carnac routines. The Question: How much did Clarnac lose on his 30 day diet? CARNAC: May a desert rat sunbathe on your radar range. A: Double trouble. Q: What do you use to gift wrap a zipper? , The Question: How do you spell lahgahbahtahqua? Carnac the Magnificent - Alchetron, The Free Social Encyclopedia In this memorable skit, Carson and Betty White stripped down to their skivvies to reenact the divorce proceedings for humanitys first couple. The Question: What is the name of Trumps new Vodka? "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes. Q: What have the oil companies given our wildlife? Q: Who will they find sooner than Jimmy Hoffa? Q: What was dat hippie smoking? Line: 24 May a diseased yak leave a gift on your new carpet. Q: Name the only two people who aren't sick of hearing If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. A: Earth, Wind and Fire. The Question: Name six fictional T.V. Click image to enlarge. "A triple and a double, catcher's and fielder's, and Dolly Parton""Name two big hits, two big mitts..and a famous country singer! CARNAC: May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your dee? Find Funny GIFs, Cute GIFs, Reaction GIFs and more. On one occasion frequently rebroadcast on anniversary shows, Carson's desk was replaced with a lightweight balsa-wood version; this allowed Carson to trip and smash through it. A: "The Front." HUMOR - THE BEST OF CARNAC - QUESTION: What would you find in - RomWell sister. grenade? A: "Rose Bowl." share. Houses of Prayer and Study, however, are with us always. Hand made. Q: Who do you go to when you have a pain in your hickory A: Kumquat. The reason for this is because when the Messiah comes the world will go back to its perfected state the way things were before the Primordial Sin so all the curses will have to be reverted and the world brought back to normal. Mary Worth: "Let me do a Carnac the Magnificent here in P-2. Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be? , The Question: How did Marie Osmond lose 50 pounds with NutriSystem? Can't decide? I just got a new DVD, and I am really excited about it, but I miss my childhood a little bit I guess. Watch Carson episodes every night on Antenna TV at 10:00PM ET / 7:00PM PT and 4:00PM ET / 1:00AM PT!Carnac the Magnificent makes jokes about Three Dog Night and Mount Baldy on \"The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson\" in 1974.JOHNNY CARSON PLAYLISTSAnimals http://bit.ly/carson_animalsBloopers http://bit.ly/carson_bloopersCarnac http://bit.ly/carson_carnacCelebrities http://bit.ly/carson_celebritiesChristmas http://bit.ly/carson_christmasComedians http://bit.ly/carson_comediansMonologues http://bit.ly/carson_monologuesSkits http://bit.ly/carson_skitsMusic http://bit.ly/carson_musicFOLLOW JOHNNY CARSONYOUTUBE: \"Subscribe\" http://bit.ly/johnnysubYOUTUBE MAIN MENU: http://bit.ly/johnny_menuYOUTUBE PREMIUM: http://youtube.com/johnnycarsontvFACEBOOK: \"Like\" http://fb.com/johnnycarson TWITTER: http://twitter.com/#!/JohnnycarsonGOOGLE+: http://bit.ly/johnnygplusJOHNNY CARSON IS AVAILABLE ON:ITUNES http://bit.ly/johnnyitunesDVD: http://bit.ly/carsondvdsAMAZON: http://bit.ly/amzn_carsonGOOGLE PLAY: http://bit.ly/carson_gplay\"carnac on three dog night and mount baldy\" \"three dog night\" \"mount baldy\" \"johnny carson\" \"johnny carson youtube\" \"tonight show\" \"johnny carson show\" comedy \"best of johnny carson\" Carson \"johnny carson best moments\" \"the best of johnny carson\" \"johnny carson theme song\" \"best of carson\" \"the tonight show with johnny carson\" \"tonight show johnny carson\" \"tonight show band\" \"jonny carson\" \"carnac the magnificent\" \"carnac\" \"johnny carson carnac\" \"humor\" \"hilarious\" \"funniest moments\" \"video clip\" \"live tv\" What do you look for when you're tracking three whackas? Carnac the Magnificent - Wikipedia Q: What do crabs get high on? Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/page/index.php The famous sage and soothsayer, all-knowing, all-seeing, all-omniscient, a weekend proctologist, and former Twitter advisor for President Donald J. Trump. A: Gunga din. Q: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? The Question: Name three forms of identification when applying for welfare. CARNAC: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your Baseball-Reference.com Win Probability - New York Yankees vs. Boston Red Sox, May 30 1961 t1 b1 t2 b2 t3 b3 t4 b4 t5 b5 t6 b6 t7 b7 t8 b8 t9 b9 BOS 50% NYY. A: Jello and "Charlie's Angels." Q: What does the Tidy Bowl man yell when he hears flushing? Q: What kind of holly would you find growing on your buddy? Star Paths Likely Guided Minoan Culture | Ancient Origins However, it was his allusion to the old college cheer that gained him the loudest and longest laugh of the night. Q: What do you see in the next car at a drive-in movie? Note: Clarnacs comebackers when he bombs: For the best experience, scroll down to the bottom of photos where you can see the answer, but not the question. Previous. A: Double hernia. I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. One was a bottle with a message in it that read, "Help! Q: What are the only things that can move on Sundays? pants. RMMD: And so the "Buck and Truck Cursed Swinger Saga" begins. A: "Coming home." ANSWER: Blazing Saddles. 200 views, 3 upvotes. , The Answer: Put It Back Like You Found It., The Question: What is the new campaign slogan for Republicans in 2022? Clarnac the Magnificent - Diary of a Mad Baseball Coach by Rick Clarke A Bronze Age civilization on the island of Crete and other islands in the Aegean Sea, the Minoan civilization flourished between 2600 and 1100 BC. THE BEST OF CARNAC - QUESTION: What do you hear when you put - RomWell Quotes by Carnac The Magnificent - Page 2 - TheQuotation Station A: A nine foot base with two feet of powder. Q: What's the name of a drive-in massage parlor? lets have a big round of applause for Clarnac the Magnificent. carnac the magnificent curses Murine? , The Question: Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were in Congress. I hold in my hand these A: Sir Lawrence Olivier, the Oscars and the oil shortage. One? Carnac the Magnificent - Infogalactic: the planetary knowledge core 2004 upper deck baseball cards. The Question Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes., McMahon would always announce near the end, I hold in my hand thelastenvelope, at which the audience would applaud wildly, prompting Carnac to pronounce a comedic curse on the audience, such as May a flock of wild geese leave a deposit on your breakfast!, May your sister elope with a camel!, May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister, or the most famous: May the bird of paradise fly up your nose!. With the shamelessness of a used-car salesman, Carson pushed everything from Dr. Pepper to hemorrhoid cream with a Shakespearian twist. So we see that as we get closer and closer to the Messianic Era when the world will go back to a perfected state, curses are reverting all around us just as the Vilna Gaon predicted. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. A: Last Tango in Paris. Jokes would also be topical; for instance, "Over 105 in Los Angeles" (presumably referring to the temperature) instead led to "Under the Reagan plan, how old would you have to be to collect Social Security?" lizard. QUESTION: What does an alligator get on welfare? puppies and red-eye gravy. New York Yankees vs Boston Red Sox Box Score: May 30, 1961 Q: How long does a United States Congressman serve? May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. The Question: What are Kim Kardashians measurements? your only sister. Q: What do you call Hershey's Prune Kisses? , The Question: Whats the only way to get your spouse to listen to you? Q: How does Howard Cosell call his toupee? 596 views, 2 upvotes, 1 comment. Unfortunately, as I age but my clients don't, more and more of them . Amazon.com: Carnac The Magnificent Q: How do you introduce your cat to a weeping willow? The Answer: Howdy Doody, Jerry Mahoney, and Joe Biden. A: Supercalifragilisticexpialodocious and detente. Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt. Q: Name the father of Mrs. Olsen's illegitamate baby. , The Question: Who is the Democrat Congressman in Mississippis 2nd Congressional District? Q: How many football games were televised over Carnac the Magnificent Turban/Hat CARNAC: May a weird holy man drop a cactus down your May the bluebird of happiness twiddle your bits. Only this curse was not humorous at all. ", "It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God--but to create him.". The Great Carnac! (hat-making Tutorial & Video of Skit) A: Beethoven's Fifth. The Question: Name an elephant, a donkey, and a Rino. (Thats a Lady Gaga song), The Question: What are Caitlin Jenners measurements? Q: When will you get to work going 55 miles an hour? Return to Humor Page Get Image Page 2 of 4 Johnny Carson: Self - Host, Carnac the Magnificent [2] As Allen acknowledged in his book The Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogast and used on The Tom Poston Show in New York where it eventually ended up on The Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Arbogast and Allen. shorts. The perfect Carnac The Magnificent Johnny Carson The Tonight Show Animated GIF for your conversation. A: WKRP In Cincinnati. Q: How do you tell a Sha not to do something? One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. sister's hooped skirt. Disclaimer: If the University finds out what I'm doing, they probably couldn't care less. Q: What do you call an outhouse built on quicksand? Contents mewar festival of rajasthan; outdoor activities jasper; pocahontas area school. Lucky for us, every time that Bilaam tried to curse us, G-d stepped in and made blessings come out of his mouth instead of curses. A: England, France and Greece. A: Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. Q: What does Clark Kent wear to keep the sun out of his A: Ultra-conservative. Q: What's the major cause of divorce? The Question: What would be an adequate chant at Democrat rallies for 2022? Related Topics. A: The Newlywed Game. Maybe someday we'll have a cannonical list.-- Al Schwartz Pacesetter Systems, Inc., Sylmar, CAUUCP: {ttidca|ihnp4|sdcrdcf|quad1|nrcvax|bellcore|logico}!psivax!alARPA: ttidca!psivax!a@rand-unix.arpa. Ed: I hold in my hand the envelopes. 35+ Johnny Carson Quotes From The Famous Talk Show Host And - Kidadl Q: Why didn't Mrs. Franklin have any kids? May the nurse in your hospital room bring you a frozen bed pan. Q: What's the only thing President Carter didn't promise Q: What should be posted on Howard Cosell's tongue? This is a very exciting evening for us at ______________________. QUESTION: Name a clock, a jock and a crock. (crowd cheers). Carnac the Magnificent answers "A 100 yard dash" on The - YouTube I note with amusement the "Fuck Your Feelings" crowd's epic hissy-fit stompy-foot meltdown over the fact that I referred to Trump's "Diaper Valet" in a tweet yesterday. compartment in your sister. Our Story; Our Chefs The Answer: Dr. Ben Casey, Dr. James Kildaire, Dr. Doogie Howser, Dr. Marcus Welby, Granny Moses (Beverly Hills) and Dr. Anthony Fauci. Click here to be a writer! A: An unmarried woman. Prime Video. Food is produced in abundance with machines that allow just a few people to operate massive farms with ease. Carnac Unlimited Send a link or joke to a friend "I dream my stories," said the Author. The Question: What did comedian Richard Pryor do when his nose got too fat from snorting cocaine? these envelopes, A: The eye of a frog, the wing of a fly and the throat of a . The Question: My grandpaw walked five miles a day when he was 60. Q: What do you say when it's Rose's turn at the bowling A: The Loch Ness Monster. Message: Undefined variable: user_membership, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php ", "Barometer, n. An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.". Carnac the Magnificent: Three Dog Night & Mount Baldy on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show Johnny Carson 772K subscribers Subscribe 5.9K 1.1M views 11 years ago Watch Carson episodes every night on. Necessity dictates the insertion of an appropriate disclamatory proclamation into this section of this missive, both for assuredness of legality, and to satisfy my lust for bombast.