The old bugger's come a long way and I didn't want to put the wind up him. Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your f***ing appendix doesn't mean anything! I feel unusual. Withnail: [looking at a newspaper] Apart from a raw potato, that's the only solid to have passed my lips in the last 60 hours. You will make it low. Monty: He won't gore you. We'll be found dead in here next spring. [screwing his eyes shut in terror, moaning] Marwood: Marwood: Marwood stands there, petrified, the bull is scraping the ground with its front hoof, snorting, he throws the shopping the air and it scatters in the mud. These are the best withnail and I quotes. Winchester College in fiction - Wikipedia Flowers are essentially tarts. They don't like me being on stage. Cooking's one of the natural instincts. If The Crow and Crown ever had life it was dead now. We live in a kingdom of reigns, where royalty comes in gangs. "Geoff Woade is feeling better and is now prepared to step back into society and start tossing his orb about." Right, you fucker, I'm going to do the washing up! Cunt gave him two years. Irishman: Danny: They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworth's, man. He can eat his ****ing radish. Listen, we're bona fide, we're not from London. Withnail: Marwood: Then they must be delighted with your career. Honestly. This most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapors! We can't go on like this. Free to those who can afford it, very expensive to those who can't. Marwood: (Voice-over) Speed is like a dozen transatlantic flights without ever getting off the plane. Stand aside! [Withnail laughs hysterically and falls to the floor, then vomits on Marwood's feet], Withnail: How can it be so cold in here? Listen, Withnail, it's a stinker. The Coalman had to go to Jamaica. There must and shall be aspirin, or I shall die, here, on this fucking mountainside! Get any more masculine than him and you'd have to live up a tree. I must go home at once and discuss his problems in depth. Here is the clip. Danny: Little tarts, they love it! Here Hare Here - YouTube I've only had a few ales. I dislike relatives in general and in particular mine. Marwood: I've been to drama school. Uncle Monty: Come on lads, let's get home, the sky's beginning to bruise. And that's why you mustn't hold back, let it ruin your youth as I nearly did over Eric. And soon, I suppose, I shall be swept away by some vulgar little tumour. Monty: Withnail: That's what you'd say, but that wouldn't wash with Geoff. Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! The paragon of animals! Probably on a tenner a day, and I know what for! Withnail: DRIVE WITH EXTREME CARE", shouts out of the car window at a man standing on the pavement, Withnail and Marwood are lying in bed together, listening to a man coming inside the cottage. Listen, I don't know what my f acquaintance did to upset you but it's nothing to do with me. Danny: When I come in, I seen one the size of a fucking dog. Withnail: Good old Jake. At some point or another I want to stop and get hold of a child. Jake: [voiceover] No fridges, no televisions, no phones! Withnail: Withnail: I have a heart condition, if you hit me it's murder. Danny: He's so mauve, we don't know what he's planning! "I fuck arses." And here we are, we three, perhaps the last island of beauty in the world. Hey, show no fear! Marwood: Marwood: [they stop and look at each other. I know where you are, you're at Crow Crag. It used to give him bad tempers and act up said his wife. And the Coalman looks at him and says, "Do you think you look normal, Your Honour?" Let go before it's too late or hang on and keep getting higher, posing the question: how long can you keep a grip on the rope? Find *anything*. Withnail: I want to see about digging the car out anyway. This thread is archived. The entire sink's gone rotten. Oh, bollocks to the Wellingtons. Danny: Go with it. I'm in considerable danger here, I must get out of here at once. I don't consciously offend big men like this. Talk:Withnail and I - Wikiquote Street: the embalmer. All right, Miss Blennerhassett, I'm warning you, if you do, you're fired. Withnail: Calm down. It's too hot so he drops it, on top of a hill, shouting into a valley, his voice echoing, Withnail's lonely, aging homosexual uncle Monty has gone home, leaving a note humbly apologising for the desperate sexual advances he made on Marwood the night before, Jake has left a dead hare hanging on the cottage door, along with a note, wakes up in the back seat of the car, which is moving along the motorway, he swerves dangerously through the motorway traffic, holding up a Fairy Liquid bottle with a strap and a tube, Marwood knocks on the door of a farmhouse. Marwood: If your father was my father you wouldn't get it. General: I've already put two shilling pieces in. I don't advise a haircut, man. Especially that pimp! You been away? Marwood: Stop saying that, Withnail, of course he's the f***ing farmer! Danny: Withnail: You mean we've come out here in the middle of f***ing nowhere without aspirins? Probably wintering with his mother in Guildford. And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of *dust*? And the Coalman looks at him and says "You think *you* look normal, your honour?" Who is the huge spade in the bath? [Mr Parkin is sitting on his tractor with one leg wrapped from thigh to ankle in a plastic fertiliser bag. Start shouting. To offer it the show of violence", [as Monty continues to recite the line from Hamlet, Marwood gets up and whispers in Withnail's ear]. I'm not going to understudy anybody. Where did you school? Danny: Sons are the anchors of a mother's life. As a youth, I used to weep in butchers' shops! What is it? Rejuvenate. . It's ridiculous. What the f*** are you talking about? Peter Marwood (I): Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day. Withnail: [he throws the shopping the air and it scatters in the mud. The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. And as Presuming Ed here has so consistently pointed out, we have failed to paint it black. Chin-chin. Withnail: Free to those who can afford it, very expensive to those who can't. Keep your bag up. The fucking kettle's on fire! "In a world exclusive interview, 33 year old shot putter Geoff Woade who weighs 317 pounds, admitted taking massive doses of anabolic steroids, drugs banned in sport. What the fuck are you talking about? [Marwood knocks on the door of a farmhouse. So there's this judge sitting there in the cape like f***ing Batman with this really rather far out-looking hat. Danny: I hope you guys like our collection. What are we supposed to do with that? Withnail: Bastard asked me to understudy Konstantin in The Seagull. Withnail: Weve gone on holiday by mistake. Monty: 2023. Monty: All right here? Danny: This pill's valued at two quid. We're working on a film up here. [telephoning his agent] I must be ill. Monty: It's like great yellow sock. But sooner or later you got to get out, because it's crashing. Thanks! Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! Marwood: Hare. Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels. How dare you. So, he looks at the Coalman and says "What's all this? [whispering] Marwood puts his hand on Withnail's shoulder]. Look at this - accident blackspot? Had a weight under his fez. We get in there and get wrecked, then we eat a pork pie, then we drop a couple of Surmontil-50s each. We may as well sit round this cigarette. Withnail: Murder and All-Bran and rape. A coward you are, Withnail! Jesus Christ, this huge, thatched head with its earlobes and cannonball is now considered sane. [after a phone call with his agent] I'm gonna be a star*! Danny: I dont advise a haircut, man. Marwood: Course you have, you're the poacher. Marwood: You'll all suffer! You fill this with piss, take this pipe down the trouser and sellotape this valve to the end of the old chap. I'm not going to understudy anybody. [Heckles pedestrian] Throw yourself into the road, darling, you haven't got a chance! Withnail: (He spits out a globule of phlegm) Jesus, look at that. She said she'd closed. Withnail and I is a comedy-drama film which got pretty popular. I'll be sprouting bloody feelers soon. Monty: Who fucks arses? You got a rush. Marwood: That's a very good idea. No, he'd like a bit of pleading. Street: The Embalmer! Withnail: Withnail: It's got to warm up. Policeman 2: *What are you doing prowling around in the middle of the fucking night*? Reflecting these times. Withnail: Withnail: What goods the countryside? save. Monty: Why doesn't he retire? Here it is: Movie Drone: I Heart - Withnail And I moviedroneblog.blogspot.com. Give in to it, boy. Got a bit carried away. Monty: Oh, of course you are. Monty: Miss Blennerhassett, telephone the police. Well, that can't be sensible, can it? [staggering out] First thing we've got to do is get this fire alight, then we split into two fact-finding groups. That's what you'd say, but that wouldn't wash with Geoff. No, nor woman neither nor woman neither. Do you realise this gaff's overrun with rodents? As a youth I used to weep in butcher's shops. You're not in the same boat. https://www.quotes.net/movies/withnail_and_i_quotes_14074. Danny: Withnail: Marwood: This ain't fancy dress." I want something's flesh! I wouldn't drink that if I was you. He's so mauve, we don't know what he's planning! [voiceover] Withnail: I'm not having this shag sack insulting me! What's in your hump? Withnail: These are the sort of windows faces look in at! Tanks. Jake: Now look, you. We'll keep them here til they arrive. Marwood: A coward you are, Withnail! He gags and gasps, Withnail laughs hysterically and falls to the floor, then vomits on Marwood's feet, as Monty continues to recite the line from Hamlet, Marwood gets up and whispers in Withnail's ear, after coming out of a field, Withnail hasn't closed the gate properly, and a bull walks through it. You won't keep us anywhere. Withnail: [the man who called Marwood a ponce gets up and walks over to them. Not the attitude I'd been given to expect from the H.E. Monty: Don't threaten me with a dead fish! I might come and see you lads in the week. London is a country coming down from its trip. Whats more popular than the movie itselfis, its amazing quotes. Marwood: Suits me. [the bull is scraping the ground with its front hoof, snorting]. Ponce! Uncle Monty: Here hare here here hare here! Isaac Parkin: I fail to see my family's of any interest to you. This may be the reason bald-headed men are uptight. And I've come in here with the express intention of wishing one on you! grant . There is, you'll agree, a certain 'je ne sais quoi' oh so very special about a firm, young carrot. Uncle Monty: Oh, my boys, my boys, forgive me. Throwing themselves into the road gladly to escape all this hideousness! Probably wintering with his mother in Guildford. [the bedroom door slowly opens and the intruder enters with a torch] Withnail: [screwing his eyes shut in terror, moaning] We mean no harm! Withnail and I Quotes Monty, Monty! Uncle Monty: Sherry? No fridges, no televisions, no phones. Works the lake, but keep it under your hat, hm? It'll pass. [after being threatened by Jake the poacher] What fucker said that? Marwood: We are not drunks, we are multi-millionaires! I happened to be looking for a suit for the Coalman two weeks ago. Best 25 Withnail And I Quotes By Bruce Robinson 2023 [on top of a hill, shouting into a valley, his voice echoing] Marwood : No, no, you can't. It's impossible, I swear it. Withnail: You merely imagined it. It's a bloody chicken! Maybe he f***s arses! We get in there and get wrecked, then we'll eat a pork pie, then we'll drop a couple of Surmontil-50's each. Danny: If I medicined you, you'd think a brain tumour was a birthday present! You been away? Bastard asked me to understudy Konstantin in The Seagull. How can we make it die? You mustn't blame him. I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Marwood: Withnail and I Quotes Withnail: (Wry smile) Sorry about that. I recommend you smoke some more grass. Withnail: How should I know where we are? Yet again that oaf has destroyed my day! It'll happen. Withnail: There must and shall be aspirin, or I shall die, here, on this f***ing mountainside! Then the fucker will rue the day! Marwood: All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Look out that window, if you see anything, anything at all, tell me. These aren't accidents, they're throwing themselves into the road! Even the wankers on the site wouldn't drink that! All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Monty: Why don't you use a cup like any other human being? You need working on, boy! Danny: Don't get uptight with me, man. It's impossible, I swear it. I've never met him. [points a fencing sword at Marwood face] Chin-chin. Matter. Danny: Call Of Duty 4 Modern Warfare: War Quotes - YouTube www.youtube.com. Suits me. Danny: I don't advise a haircut, man. [voiceover] They walk down to the cottage. [cheerfully hopping back over the wall] 2010 Drama 24M views 2 years ago Uncle Monty - the end of an age ohheckforgotusername 157K views 11 years ago Withnail & I 30. For some of us a quote becomes a mantra, a goal or a philosophy by which we live. "I'm going to pull your head off." Before I became a journalist I was in the Territorials. Don't get uptight with me, man. I'm in the middle of a bloody overdose! He can eat his fucking radish. They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworth's, man. Withnail: Marwood: "I f*** arses"? What do you want? They can handle the caftan but they cannot handle the bell. [voiceover] You can use the left-hand menu to view some of the most popular quotes from the main Withnail and I characters . This is me naked in a corner! Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels. Headhunter to his friends. Now that represents a degree of hypocrisy I've hitherto suspected in you, but have not noticed due to highly evasive skills. My partner's got a really good idea for making dolls. I must be ill. Withnail: Right, you f***er, I'm going to do the washing up. Be seated. God fulfils himself in many ways. You're looking very beautiful, man. I've looked into it. Search, discover and share your favorite Withnail And I GIFs. For reasons I can't really discuss with you. If I hadn't told him you were active we'd never have got the cottage. Then why's he wearing that old suit? I want something's flesh! If I hadn't told him you were active we'd never have got the cottage. Night must fall and we shall be forced to camp. Marwood: (Voice-over) Thirteen million Londoners have to wake up to this. Withnail: Ive told you why. Withnail freezes in terror with a mouthful of pie]. [reading a newspaper] Withnail and I Quotes, Movie quotes - Movie Quotes .com Yes, as a matter of fact I have. I think we'd better release you from the lgumes and transfer your talents to the meat. St Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that. What are we going to do about it? I think you've been punished enough. She got a doll on Christmas what pisses itself. This doll is extremely dangerous; it has voodoo qualities. Beside there's nothing invented I couldn't take. Monty clearly has some difficulty in reading the note. I'd never have wanted it, not with him in it! "Here, Hare, Here" -Monty (responding to rabbit nailed to door . Why can't I have an audition? Warm up? Let him get his drugs out. Sitting down to enjoy my holiday. He can eat his ****ing radish. Danny: And now I'm calling you one. Withnail: Withnail: I could take double anything you could! I think it's time to release you from the lgumes, and transfer your talents to the meat. I was merely making an observation. What good's the side? I demand to have some booze!. Monty: I'll show the lot of you! - Washington Irving. Afrika Korps. We want to get in there, don't we? you little traitors. [casually lighting a cigarette] Marwood: [holding umbrella in rain] Withnail: Withnail: Withnail & I streaming: where to watch movie online? - JustWatch Don't look, don't look! Something's got to be done. If you don't remember the sixties, don't worry neither did they. [Monty's Rolls-Royce pulls up outside the window]. He went to the other place, Monty. I have a heart condition. by Anonymous: . Voila! Withnail: Danny: Then why's he wearing that old suit? You bloody fool, you should never mix your drinks! You're not leaving me in here alone. They are flat broke, so they move to the house of Withnail's uncle in the countryside. extends arm with umbrella straight up to sky, seeing a road sign reading "ACCIDENT BLACK SPOT. Time change. The police, Miss Blennerhassett. I had to come. Four floors up on the Charing Cross road and never a job at the top of them. The thermostats. You can stuff it up your arse for nothing and fuck off while you're doing it! Old suit? The only thing youre in that Ive been in is this ****ing bath! I wondered if you could sell us some food. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. I'll deal with the water and other plumbings, you can check the fuel and wood situation. St Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that. I'm getting the *fear*! [lunges towards the sink] Curious Myths of the Middle Ages by Sabine Baring-Gould - Complete text [teary-eyed] That's politics, innit? Withnail: So here we are gonna talk about some of thebest quotes from the movie. [clearly drunk] Withnail: Half an hour? Look at me, I'm 30 in a month and I've got a sole flapping off my shoe. awesome war quotes The wankers don't drink it because they can't afford it! If I lay 10 mils of diazepam on you, it will do something else to your brain. [Jake has left a dead hare hanging on the cottage door, along with a note], Monty: Headhunter to everybody. We were wondering if we could possibly purchase a pheasant off of you. [he picks up the kettle on the stove. It's trying to get itself in with you. Marwood: He leans up close to her, speaking into to her hearing aid, Mr Parkin is sitting on his tractor with one leg wrapped from thigh to ankle in a plastic fertiliser bag. Maybe he's written this in some moment of drunken sincerity! Withnail: Withnail: We've gone on holiday by mistake. Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels. "Oh no, please, don't pull my head off." We can't go on like this. Withnail: Then why has my head gone numb? I mean, look at us! You're simply blackmailing your emotions to avoid the realities of your relationship with him. Forgive me, it was inconsiderate of me not to have telegrammed. Tea Shop Proprietor: Monty: Depends entirely on the quality of the wine. Listen, we're bona fide. [they go and sit down at a table with their drinks]. I don't know what's in here. You just wait. I'll sleep here. Raymond Duck. I've some extremely distressing news. 1 likes. No, no, you can't. We're incompatible. It's full of brilliant quotable lines: "We've gone on holiday by mistake!" "My thumbs have gone weird". Peter Marwood (I): Stop saying that Withnail, of course hes the fucking farmer! Danny: Indeed, I remember my first agent. So we're gonna make one that shits itself as well. We might wanna do a film in here. I'm not having this shag-sack insulting me! Withnail: Uncle Monty: I can never touch raw meat until it's cooked. It's ridiculous. Marwood: you little traitors. Laisse-moi, respirer, longtemps, longtemps, l'odeur de tes cheveux. We are 91 days from the end of this decade and there's gonna be a lot of refugees. Withnail: The only programme I'm likely to get on is the f***ing news! Web. General: He winces as he stretches his leg, the drunken, elderly pub landlord opens the till and it hits it him the chest and he almost falls down, they go and sit down at a table with their drinks, fondling the money Monty has given them to buy Wellingtons, a poacher enters the pub with pheasants stuffed under his coat, making him look like a hunchback, he pulls Withnail's cigarette out of his mouth and puts it in his, after having entirely covered himself in muscle embrocation to keep warm, Withnail laughs uncontrollably and drops to the floor, Marwood comes out of the bathroom wearing a towel, Withnail has been pulled over by the police for speeding down the motorway in the beat-up Jaguar, gesturing at the wine bottles and Marwood in the back, in a telephone box, speaking to an operator, noticing the plastic bags that Withnail is wearing over his shoes, after being threatened by Jake the poacher, Danny offers Withnail his huge Camberwell Carrot spliff, Marwood is leaving to go to Manchester to do a play. Marwood stands there, petrified]. Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. Withnail: Well neither have I. This *is* the morning. Withnail: Withnail: I don't care where you come from! Then it was a rodent. Do you know, when you first came in here I knew you were a services man. Withnail and I completed its run in 1970. So, there's this judge sitting there in a cape like fucking Batman with this really rather far-out looking hat. Withnail and I - Wikiquote Withnail: Marwood: [after trying the Camberwell Carrot] And you'd be marvellous. We don't want a rabbit, we want a pheasant. Withnail: No you won't, you're not leaving me in here alone. I shall miss you too. He wants to get down there and have sex with those cows. Look at us! One of us has got to stay on guard. They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworths, man. "Oh no, please, don't pull my head off." ", Oh! I'm in a park and I'm practically dead. quotes military heroes famous quotesgram. [during dinner] Come on lads, let's get home. The greatest decade in the history of mankind is over. [referring to the radish on Monty's lapel] I mean to have you even if it must be burglary. The purveyor of rare herbs and prescribed chemicals is back. Scrubbers! Gi' me one in t' knee. Goes into court in his caftan and a bell. I think we've been in here too long. Danny: [Marwood is leaving to go to Manchester to do a play. Poacher. Withnail: Will it? I can never touch meat until it's cooked. He's lent us his cottage. Marwood: Withnail: Now, come along, Im going to teach you how to peel a potato., I must have some booze. Oh my boys, my boys, we are at the end of an age! I say, you know what we should do? Belongs to the fellow downstairs. I have just finished fighting a naked man! These eels are for my pot. An expert on bulls you are not! Marwood: It is a bond filled with trust, unconditional love, understanding, and support. Withnail: (Paraphrasing Hamlet) I have of late but wherefore I know not lost all my mirth and indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory; this most excellent canopy, the air look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire why, it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapors. Withnail: Withnail: Lets take a look at the following list and find out the best Withnail and I quotes. Withnail: In fact, he'd probably tell you what he was going to do before he did it. How dare you! Withnail: Sulking up the hill. Sherry? Withnail is cowering under the covers]. Marwood: I have just narrowly avoided having a buggering.